🫶🏾 Baby (Me) Takes a Social Risk + 7 Swords, 7 Friendship Red Flags
My friendship is a cosmic blessing, baby
ANGELS! I VALUE & RESPECT MY TIME & SPACE SO MUCH, THUS A TINY UPDATE FOR THIS LIMITED FREE EDITION:
HOLOGRAPHIC SPACE INDEX is free until September! Until then, you’ll receive monthly waning moon mini issues that include just a small taste with some of what the full biweekly version offers:
10+ page waxing and waning workbooks
Liberatory, justice-centric, and erotic tarot education
Psychically channeled spells, exercises, or tarot spreads
Astrological tarot news
Free liberation ebooks or resources
Community-only office hours, workshops, and chats
And, of course, sometimes-TMI updates from Mariaworld
In gratitude for your current presence, I offer the 40-page Holographic Witch Workbook. It’s a gentle yet daring, multidimensional partner for anyone interested in evolving their spiritual practice.
Even these mini issues take days to channel and write. Thank you for being here, friends.
In this issue…
7 Swords to Probe Friendship Red Flags
My Friendship is a Cosmic Blessing worksheet
Dispatches from Mariaworld
My astro toolkit
Internet gems for the curious witch
A message from the resident cat
An exciting community feature
This issue’s revolutionary liberation text
Energetic hygiene is the vibe, all the time
“What is it that breathes fire into the equations?” —Stephen Hawking
The electricity between any two people can be exhilarating, peaceful, magnetic, comforting. It can also be painful, confusing, isolating, or heavy. It’s often many things at once, and all of it is magic—whether benevolent or otherwise.
All physical beings are made up of vibrations. I’ve been poring over Garret Yount, PhD.’s Why Vibes Matter: Understand Your Energy and How to Use it Wisely this past month, completely nerding out on the science behind conscious and subconscious vibes that powerfully influence how we act in given relationships, situations, and places. One of the blessings of being human is the responsibility of intentionality around how we show up, the spaces we curate—the vibes we emanate. I believe it. I love it.
I am extremely, yet flexibly, protective of my energy. I have a wonderful life and I have wonderful people in it. I’ve done the work, I’ve shown up, I’ve taken care of myself. I have a vibrant social life, but that doesn’t mean it no longer requires growth or taking risks.
If your social life feels stagnant, ask yourself: What do I need to feel truly connected? Beyond that, ask yourself what you want in true connection. In popular witchy discourse, there’s so much talk about what we neeeeed. But we’re not just here for basic survival—we prosper when we allow ourselves the space and permission to thrive. And thrivingness embraces our desires.
I am in a season of deepening my connection with The Other—other people, other forces, other dimensions. As someone who, daily, works on healing her deep fear of rejection, I have found incredible strength in taking the social risk of connecting with people in ways that feel “advanced” to me.
Could I share an example with you?
A Scary Thing: My First Birthday Party
A natural-born Leo, I’m always ready to celebrate myself. But believe it: I’ve never had a birthday party. I’ve always wanted to, though! Growing up, my birthday was when school was out and my parents didn’t have the interest, nor money, to take care of other people’s children. Then I spent the bulk of my early adulthood in an intentionally isolating relationship in which I had no friends or the freedom to invite anyone over. Now my life and home are energetically spacious and, dammit, I want a birthday party! At the same time: What if no one shows up? Even though I’m steadily working on my deep fear of rejection, there’s still a ting of fear when I think about disappointing responses to sent invitations. I know it wouldn’t be personal, but guarded nervousness is real. This year, though, I took the social risk: I set a date and announced my first birthday party + belated book release celebration! And you know what? At least a few people are coming. Perhaps a small vulnerable bravery to you, it’s one that makes me proud. (Psst! If you’re in LA in late July and we have a connection, let me know if you’d like an invitation!)
I don’t think we talk enough about the theme of courage within the 7 of Swords. Many readers’ first impulses go to words like deception and trickery. Whatever drives this archetype to run off with seven blades, they can move through courage—whether their motivations are compassionate or malevolent. Consider the bravery within the ways we relate to each other. It takes courage to delve into relationships, to show up interpersonally with our sword energy—our mental capacity, breath (aka life force, prana), ideological convictions, communication that connects, thought processes, inner narratives, willingness to understand—to a new place, a space that we initially assume is safe. Or, at least, safe enough. We all know, though, that sometimes those spaces aren’t what they once seemed. They might not be bad places, but they might not be right for our air.
The 7 of Swords can represent things that aren’t as genuine as they seem. Sometimes we find this in friendships, even if we’ve taken the responsibility and courage to offer our air, fire, water, and earth selves to others.
And yet it’s so easy to want to stay past a friendship’s expiration date. If this resonates, consider these words from my free The Holographic Witch Workbook:
Your time and attention are undisputedly precious. Our magic suffers when our energy leaks in relationships with people who are fickle, mean, competitive, dishonest, and transactional. Quality, not quantity, is where it’s at. Some people are only in our lives for a season. If you need to protect your energy by cutting cords, then do it. It’s not just for your pride, it’s a responsibility to yourself—the alchemist, the lover, the one who responsibly bends nature to their benevolent will.
We know when we’re not doing right by ourselves, when we’re holding onto connections out of perceived safety, scarcity mindsets, or fear of disrupting the status quo.
But we are observant, discerning witches—we know a red flag when we see one. But sometimes it’s hard to see the red flag until we pause to thoughtfully check in with ourselves.
7 Swords of Friendship Red Flags
In the spirit of seven razor-sharp swords, here are seven potential friendship red flags to reflect upon and rationally analyze whether you have relationships that drain, rather than support our thrivingness, boundaries, and sense of belonging.
⚔️ Sword 1: Your connection is lopsided
Life sways to and fro ceaselessly so, of course, sometimes our relationships center more on one person than the other, such as when a friend has recently experienced a death. But when was the last time your dynamic felt balanced? When was the last time you received extra attention without strings? If you’re constantly doing the emotional heavy lifting, consider what that realization tells you.
⚔️ Sword 2: You feel unjustifiably drained after spending time with them
Y’all, I love socializing. Connecting with people is my favorite part of being alive. While I have an extroverted shell, my interior is quite introverted. Being with anyone, even my sweetie, has the potential to drain me, and it’s nothing personal—I just need ample solo time to recharge. The drain is worth it because I love it, because I get something meaningful from being with friends. But I’ve known people who deplete significant emotional resources after just a 5-minute text exchange. That drainage? Consistently? Sometimes two people just don’t vibe and that’s fine. Protect your energy, witches.
⚔️ Sword 3: They’re inappropriately possessive of you
Have you ever had a friend who always seems to feel some sort of way after you have fun with another pal? Did they talk sh*t on your other friends for no reason? I think there are benevolent lessons in all vices, but jealousy isn’t something you have to put up with if you don’t have the capacity for it. Proceed with caution around any people who pressure you into friendship isolation.
⚔️ Sword 4: They never. stop. complaining.
Every time I’ve called or texted a certain long-distance friend, they are in a bad place. Trust me, I’ve kept track. (I’m not a prick, I’ve just journaled nearly daily since I was four!) When I ask what’s getting them through the day, they mention a few delightful things and then quickly return to their woes. I share my delightful things too, but they only seem to truly light up—enthusiasm! supportiveness! vibrant energy!—when I’m going through something rough. Listen, everyone needs real friends to whom they can complain, rage, and let it all out. But if it’s all negative, ask yourself: Is this energetic exchange truly sustainable? I love my ever-groaning friend, but I limit my contact with them. Not all red flags point to ending relationships; they can also be invitations to set fresh boundaries.
⚔️ Sword 5: They’re a hater
This one’s simple. If a friend can’t ever be genuinely happy for you, what are they even doing here? Their snide comments have no place in your orbit.
⚔️ Sword 6: They treat you like competition (whether they admit it or not)
The most spacious friends are the ones who are confident and secure enough in their unique, unreplaceable selves that they honor your growth and successes without feeling like your wins diminish their inherent worth. Think about the last person in your life who constantly one-upped you. Annoying, right? We all have insecurities, but our relationships get muddled when those insecurities inhibit compersion.
⚔️ Sword 7: They’re manipulative, even if they are unaware of it
You don’t need this sh*t: passive aggression, gaslighting, silent treatments, guilt-tripping, isolation, fake concern, lies to elicit sympathy, your insecurities used as weapons, truth denial, love bombing. The many concepts of power are so distorted in our modern world that many people don’t realize when they are abusing the power of relationships, the power of human connections. Whether it’s intentional or not, manipulation of presence and trust is not okay. The next time you feel manipulated, retreat to confirm your feelings, think, and identify what needs to change.
Friendship is magic and we deserve stellar ones. I’d like to share one last bit on friendship from The Holographic Witch Workbook:
Devotion to our relationships is devotion to ourselves. Our inner circles provide us space to be absolutely vulnerable where we can receive and give encouragement, comfort, joy, experiences, and meaningful conversation. Thoughtfully curated and caring relationships help affirm our place in the world and witches are most effective when they have a sense of purpose.
My Friendship is a Cosmic Blessing Worksheet
An exercise for checking in with personal platonic presence
Witches know the power of place and presence. We magically curate our lives with spiritual and practical intentions toward a more ideal life, a more ideal planet. One way we craft the art of our lives is by paying attention to how others treat us.
Somehow less visibly endorsed is the responsibility of actively, consciously tending to how we show up for others. Our lives are complicated and it can be easy to focus more heavily on what we're receiving than what we're giving.
This worksheet lists 20 dimensions of friendship that you can explore to identify who you are as a friend and what you might want to shift. Your companionship is magic and it's up to you to keep your energy clean!
Dispatches from Mariaworld
🧖🏾♀️ Want to slumber party with me? Even better if it’s free? Join me tonight (Friday, June 21) from 6 to 8 pm PT for a relaxed hang with me and Jessie Susannah Karnatz (aka The Money Witch). It’s just one slice of their delicious Sexy Self-Care Summer series. Come join us! We’ll gather with good conversation, electric playlists, and fun cocktail and mocktail recipes!
Maria’s Astro Toolkit
Every month, I share some of the things, ideas, people, places, and memories that encourage me to be present in each astrological season and its themes. I hope that this list prompts you to create your own "toolkit" that you can reach toward whenever you want to ground in the current season. Here's what's in my bag for Cancer season. What's in yours?
Emotional and literal travel. Valuing daydreams as I do nightdreams. Belonging. My beloved custom collar my sweetie gifted me. Mary Magdalene soul connection. Hope as societal obligation. Friendships as houses, friendships as homes. Kneeling in reverence. Invitations. Meditation for the world. Truth as loving abyss. Balancing infinite love with limited time. The blessing of responsibility. Power in vulnerability. Lobster symbolism in my Moon year. Even weirder definitions of family. Analyzing defensiveness with compassion. Anticipating inner and external needs. Refreshing my energetic hygiene practice. Random friend check-ins. Self-boundaries. Caretaking as ritual. Labyrinths and whirlpools. Triggers as teachers. Massaging my belly. The ever-present Strength and Page of Pentacles cards. Permission to eat. Sexy costumes in a different body. Realizing when wants are incongruent with societal shoulds. Remembering that shitty people were once babies. Knowing that seeds need rest, too. Psychological rebirth. Pragmatism. No liberation without acceptance. Desires felt, not fabricated. My somehow indestructible optimism in my job search (I know that things have the potential to get really good, but seriously, wish me luck—the landscape is dismal!)
Internet Gems for the Curious Witch
📝 Seriously, research life coaches before you sign a contract!!
🧘🏾♀️ How do we finally “win” wellness?
🤠 When does charisma become “the most pure form of a people’s authority over themselves?”
💸 I recently made an immensely (and once terrifying) liberating financial decision after reading these brief thoughts on spending money.
📊 Competitive Excel? I want in.
❤️🔥 Wow, I’m so digging the Indigenize shop! It’s filled with Tribal and Native-owned businesses who make quality everyday products. Swoon.
🎭 Artists, when was the last time that you heard some variation of “It’s not what the world needs right now?”
🌋 D*ldo of the month: Molten lava inside my p*ssy? Cool!
Use 12ft.io to bypass any paywalls
A Message from the Resident Cat
The moon is about to wane in Sagittarius, so lighten your bags! This summer, we’re going someplace ultra weird.
Free Revolutionary Liberation Text
This month’s text on liberation is Revolutionary Solidarity by Daniela Carmignani, Pierleone Porcu, Wolfi Landstreicher, & Killing King Abacus. All opinions expressed are those of the authors, so take what you like and leave the rest!
Community Feature: Feral and Free
My friend and wellness liberation inspiration Ruby Sheng Nichols, the founder and boss witch at The Shift is soon launching Feral + Free, a deep and intimate, 4-month virtual program for Asian femmes. Ruby shares that this weill be a space where “we journey to the depths of our being to excavate our power. To unshame and reclaim all the pieces of ourselves we've been taught to hide and hate.”
Themes:
+ The Temptress - reconnect to your body; kundalini + pleasure as creative life force energy
+ The Villain - Dragon Lady archetype, dark feminine, sacred rage, and permission to be “bad”
+ The Witch - divine feminine principles and connecting to the earth to access your magic
+ The Underworld - connecting to our ancestral roots, shadow work, and alchemizing through radical self-love
Expect spell work, sacred rage circles, sensual movement workshops, breathwork, Akashic magic, energy work, womb healing, tea ceremonies, voice activation, juicy book club, and more!
This will be an intimate group of up to 10 Asian women + femmes:
+ 3 virtual live group sessions/month
+ Ongoing community and support via WhatsApp
Feral + Femme kicks off 8/8, but are in pre-sale during June, where you can save up to 70% off regular price! Sliding scale and payment plan options are available + 1 scholarship spot.
Sound like your jam? Schedule a free discovery call!
🌖
Until the moon wanes again,
Maria
Currently reading: Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century by Barbara Carrellas
Love you and love your work & words <3